


Nobody's Perfect

by asyndese



Category: Norse Mythology, Thor (2011), Thor (Comics)
Genre: Crossdressing, M/M, Ravishment, Shapeshifting, Stealing the bride, inappropriate fondling and groping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-09
Updated: 2012-06-09
Packaged: 2017-11-07 09:38:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/429555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asyndese/pseuds/asyndese
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Forget a lover's heartfelt token to gain the favor of the maiden. Forget dangerous, desperate promises that could bring down an empire. Nope, not Thor. He simply runs into Jotunheim after a few, well-timed chance encounters with Loki, madly in love with the idea of stealing a poor girl back from the frost giants.</p><p>All of Loki's effort and secrecy and lies - for naught. Just because Thor is an idiot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nobody's Perfect

"You can't just do that," Loki reasoned, supporting his chin on one hand, his elbow digging deep into the Asgardian's back as he was carried over one broad, muscled shoulder. The Glittering Plains were growing smaller and smaller in the distance and soon they would vanish behind the jagged rocks of Thrymheim and he would never see his home again.

"Who's going to stop me? You?"

"No, but the, ah, Jotuns will notice my absence. You should bring me back at once or you might risk a war."

"Let them come," Thor's head turned a fraction, looking at Loki out of the corner of his eyes and _grinning_ like a fool, euphoric from the fight and the chase and too confident for his own good. His run had lost its urgency and was more of a jog, now that he was sure no one was following them. Loki's soft bosom still hurt from the jostling; Thor's shoulder was hard and he had been pressed against it for quite a while but the slower pace gave Loki the breath to actually try and argue (weasel) his way out of this predicament. It just had been a _joke_ , really. A con. All gone wrong.

"You don't understand. It's not that easy."

"Try me," and Thor turned his attention towards the road again, his hand tightening its grip on Loki's hips and the back of his thighs, bunching up his fine dress and underskirt.

"First of all, you just _robbed_ me. Secondly, I don't take kindly to being handled like an ordinary ... wench. Like an object."

"Oh, but you will be the jewel of all my possessions."

"Is that your definition of blandishment?" Loki punched where he could reach him; at the lower back, between his shoulders. Thor just grunted then laughed and slapped his ass for his insolence.

"Stop squirming, woman. You should take pride. You have caught Thor Odinsson's eye and I intend to keep you. You won't fall short of passion or glory with me as your paramour."

"Oh, for the love of- Set me down." Thor chuckled again, a deep rumble of a laugh that went through his whole body, shaking Loki up with its vibrations and it felt almost nice. As nice as those hands sliding up and beneath his underskirt, along his calves and - he kicked out, red in the face with anger.

"You are a feisty one, I like that." Thor stopped and set him down by his hips finally, fingers wrapped possessively around his midsection and not willing to let him truly go any time soon. He probably suspected his flighty intentions and Loki pressed his lush lips together in displeasure. Of course he looked gorgeous like that, his magics had made sure of it. It was somewhat quite flattering to know that even Thor, Asgard's beloved son, slayer of giants, had fallen for his imposture - so much that he was acting like a love-crazed fool. How to undo that? He could not risk Thor losing his notorious temper, in his anger he might strike Loki down with Mjölnir which so inconspicuously hang by his belt. He'd be a dead man. Woman. Jotun. Whatever.

"And you're an oaf," he snarled after a one sided staring match as Thor was merely appraising his form, eyes drawn to his cleavage, fingers inching slowly closer. "Eyes up here, thunderer." Pulling his cloak tighter around himself, Loki slapped Thor to gain his attention. As predicted, Thor let go of him to touch his cheek in astonishment, no woman had ever dared hit him quite like that.

But he had not counted on Thor's own quick reflexes for he caught him around one delicate wrist as he tried to flee, jerking him close again until he was pressed against his strong, firm chest.

"Now now, don't run away again."

 _What a charmer_ , Loki thought, unimpressed. But that had been part of the plan; Thor had been the perfect target, easy to seduce. That had been obvious the first time he had met him. Of course back then, Odin's son had not taken much notice of him, hidden in shadows as he was in the disguise of a regular Asgardian male servant, easy to overlook.

What Loki had not counted on was Thor's hotheadedness and the lengths to which Thor would go to claim what he arrogantly assumed was his. Like this, Loki would never get into the possession of the Brisingamen. Or Idun's apples (there was much in Asgard Loki desired, none of which was Thor's attention). Forget a lover's heartfelt token to gain the favor of the maiden. Forget dangerous, desperate promises that could bring down an empire. Nope, not Thor. He simply ran into Jotunheim after a few well-timed chance encounters with Loki, madly in love with the idea of stealing a poor girl back from the frost giants.

All of Loki's effort and secrecy and lies - for naught. Just because Thor was an idiot.

"You needn't be afraid. Never will you have to return to these monsters."

"What if I am such a monster?", Loki countered. There was a desperate edge to his voice now as Thor bent down to layer his neck with wet, urgent kisses. No matter how hard he struggled against his hold, his arms were like a vice, keeping him rooted against Thor's tall body.

"You, a monster? Preposterous! How can anything this fair and delicate be a monster? No, your time as a Jotun's thrall lies in the past." His beard was rough and prickly against Loki's skin as Thor planted what he probably assumed to be a chivalrous kiss on the back of his hand, looking deeply into his eyes. "Think about our future instead."

"I really can't see that happening."

"You are so shy."

"And you are daft. Don't you realize?", Loki gasped as he was pressed against the nearest tree next to the road and a calloused palm was pushing its way beneath his underskirt again. "I merely set you up to - to-" Thor's breath was moist and warm against his clavicle and very distracting.

"It worked well, then. Stop worrying about such trivialities."

"You are risking a war by stealing me from Laufey."

"A thrall is hardly worth the commotion." Hitting Thor over the head had not the desired effect, he simply trapped his wrist in one big hand, holding it against the rough bark and ripped the front of his dress open with the other. This was not good. Not at all.

"I am actually a... a royal child of the Jotuns," Loki made an attempt to squirm away, his body bending like a snake's to the side and out of reach.

"I've never heard such nonsense. And even if it were true, all the better. You are most befit to be my queen, then." How infuriating, how exasperating a dimwittef knucklehead Thor was and how horribly arousing his tongue traced the outline of his ear. Loki was close to losing it and maybe he should. Give up the disguise and face the danger of Mjölnir. He'd rather meet death than face the shame of being taken like a woman.

"I cannot be your queen for I am not even a woman," he tried, willing the charm to vanish, flowing down like water and leaving only the shaking, disheveled image of a pale young man in a ruined dress that posed no compliment to his narrow frame. "I am nothing but a liar and a fraud." That had to be a killer phrase, certain to make Thor see reason.

Ironically, Thor's reaction was the exact opposite of what he had hoped for. Instead of letting him go or striking him down, he just grinned; an annoying, self-assured smile that lit up his whole face. He leaned in close, breath ghosting over Loki's mouth followed by the slow lick of his tongue across Loki's lips. It left him tingling and awfully yearning for more.

"There's worse in the nine realms. You could have been a norn," Thor whispered hoarsely, smoothing the sleeves of Loki's dress down his shoulders. "But even as a man you are just as exquisite."

"I meant to steal from you. I am a thief," Loki blurted out in a last attempt to thwart Thor's plans of seducing him.

"That's fine, you may keep my heart." But a nonchalant shrug was all he earned for his troubles.

Ach, by all dwarven beards! Thor had him almost undressed and to his great shame also aroused and there was no denying it, not when he cupped him through his dress, firm and assured, giving a squeeze that had Loki weak in the knees and red in the face. If it only wouldn't feel this good. No one had ever dared to touch him quite like this, no one had dared go near the prince of Jotunheim. But Thor.... Thor's hands were just this side of rough, burning him up and making him moan when he at last pulled up Loki's dress and underskirt to encircle the base of his cock, pumping and tugging gently at his testicles. Then his blunt, spit-wet fingers pushed behind and lower, lower to rub over -

The small, suckling bites to his right nipple jerked him back to reality. He couldn't just allow this to happen to him, he was no maiden anymore and still Thor would have him as such. That went against all his principles, he was no _nithing_ , no coward. Not in _that_ way, at least.

"Can't- can't like this. I am- we're not," he stammered, breathlessly bucking up when two fingers pressed against the tight pucker of his opening, clinging to Thor's shoulders so he would not fall over. Thor merely chuckled against his chest, licking along his ribs and over the sensitive, twitching muscle right above his navel.

"And why is that, exactly?"

"I am not Asgardian, but a Jotun. A... fr-frost-mhmm-" He did this on purpose, Loki was quite certain. Kneading the muscle just below his ass, the back of his thighs and he had to focus, really focus like he had not needed in years to let go of the last glamor, the one that separated him from all that was true and good and warm.

But the thunder god was a furnace, reincarnated electricity, the sun and even Loki's icy hue could not deter him from his goal. Nor the blood red eyes, or the rune scars. He could hear his own dress crackling with the sudden frost blooming but Thor did not let go, did not seem affected and only spurned on as if challenged. There was determination in his smile now, all sharp, white teeth; a predator's smile.

"Nobody's perfect. Now _please_ let me finish rescuing you."

Loki sank back against the tree, defeated and gave in. It wasn't so bad, now was it? Thor might still bring him Idun's apple to taste and Freya's jewels to treasure. He could even live with the Asgardians in their eternal summer sun. What difference did it make if he actually enjoyed his attentions? It was a good bargain, all in all, even if he had to pay with the occasional sore back for it and really, the way Thor had him bent over, happily moaning with thick cock buried deep in his ass, it was a small prize to pay.

**Author's Note:**

> For the kinkmeme. 
> 
> Prompt: "You know the very end of Some Like It Hot? Give me a (cracked-out?) version of that wherein Loki gives his lover all kinds of ridiculous excuses for why they can't actually be together, and finally gives up and tells him, "Okay, I'm a Jotun, that's why not ;_; " And Thor (or whoever) just shrugs and says... well, you know. Do it for great justice!"


End file.
